Is Your “Nice” Personality The Cause Of Your Pain?

We all want to be accepted and well liked by other people. So we try to be nice when we interact with others. However, we may go overboard with this type of behavior and it may come back hurt our health. Case in point: Last week, a young man came to me seeking relief from his lower back pain. He said he has been suffering with this pain for a few years now. He had tried many different treatments including medical drugs but only attained temporary relief and then the pain comes back.

After checking his lower back region, and tracking the path of pain, I told him, “most of the lower back pain is actually coming from the pull from the upper shoulders. There is a lot of tension lodged in the tissues of the upper shoulders. And most of this tension seem to be coming from the emotional side. It feels like you have been suppressing your negative emotions. It looks like you have been a “nice guy” for far too long and kept within yourself the anger, frustrations and disappointments.”   

Emotions not expressed outwards will go inside into your tissues and show up as lower back pain and frozen shoulder pain. A person with a perfectionist personality wanting everything to be in such high standards or a “nice guy” personality who is always trying to be nice even when people are taking advantage of him/her, can hold negative emotions in their tissues which can give rise to physical pain such as lower back and upper shoulder pain. 

Another man who also complained of lower back pain. When he came to me and I checked his points and tracked the path of pain, I also felt there was something more going on than just the physical pain. As I spoke to him further, I came to find out that he had a rough boss to deal with at work. He was okay with his job, but he didn’t particularly like working for the boss.

Though he felt unfairly treated by his boss, he felt he couldn’t say much to him because of the authorative position of his boss. He felt he had no choice but to obey his boss and suck up to whatever way his boss wants to treat him. He was putting on a “nice guy” personality at work as he was fearful of getting fired and losing his income.

He thought at least in the evenings and weekends, he can take his mind off his boss and relax with his family. But strangely, it was in the weekends that he was feeling very exhausted and feeling severe pain in his lower back.

When I pointed out that his lower back pain was due to suppressed emotions about his boss, it was quite an eye opener for him. He was thinking his back pain was purely a physical issue which has to do with L4 and L5 of his spine as the doctor had told him. He had no idea that it was the “nice guy” personality and the emotional suppression of dealing with his boss that was at the heart of the problem.   

The pain in your neck can literally point out something going on your life that has become “a pain in the neck”. It could be a person or an event that is particularly distressing to you. When you are not able to avoid it and you just have to endure it, the body responds by going into a stress mode. After overcoming the stressful person or incident , your body relaxes and lets out its stress by the pain in your neck. 

A young woman who came to me complaining of neck pain. She told me that it was due to her sleeping the wrong way on the pillow. As I checked her neck points and tracked the path of pain, I found it to be coming from a place beyond her physical side. I told her that there must be something more that was going on. I asked her if she was feeling burdened by something.

She told me, “well, I finished my exams last week and that was stressful. It was more stressful waiting for the results. But two day ago, I got my results and I passed.” She continued, “whew, what a relief I passed.” Then strangely, I got this neck pain.”

I pointed out the relationship between the stress she felt with the exams, and the feeling of relief when the exams were over. When she received news of passing the exams, she was able to relax fully and the body was able to release the tensions held in the body through the pain of neck. In emotional terms, for this young woman, the exams were literally a “pain in the neck” for her.

HijamaHerbs takes an integrative, mind-body approach to healing. It covers the physical/biological issue (neck pain, lower back pain, etc), with the emotional/psychological issue (suppressed stress, anger, etc) and the social/environmental issue (workplace, family) and also sihr/jinn issues.

After the health evaluation is made, a treatment plan which includes hijama, herbs, emotional counseling, energy work and rukyah is performed. HijamaHerbs sessions for ladies is performed by Nusrat Shah. For children, we normally do not perform hijama, however herbs, homeopathic remedies and emotional healing is performed. Also available, emotional healing, counseling for married couples, counseling for young adults seeking their true career path.

For more information or to set up an appointment, contact Amin Shah at 617-787-5151 or email – We are based in Boston, MA – USA.  

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